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[privateeyeforhire]

 

 

« sharpshooter » TEXT ✧ AUDIO ✧ VIDEO ✧ ACTION Juno Steel ✦ The Penumbra Podcast
RESIDENCE ✦ Emerald district
GEMBOND ✦ Amethyst

"Juno Steel here. Assuming answering machines work the same around here: You leave me a message. I listen to it. Maybe I call you back."
INFO ✧ PERMISSIONS ✧ KINKLIST ✧ EXTRA

Comments

[treading_water]

Twas the beginning 💆‍♀️of Hoevember🍂 Spanksgiving🍁day🌞 And all🌎the Spanksgiving🤗hoes👯‍♀️ were out👀to play😈
Mr. Turkey 🦃👨🏻 Mr. Turkey 🤩🦃 Nice and Fat 🐷 Nice and THICC🍑😳 Give👹me stuffing😤 Give me🐽stuffing🤰 Give me DICK😈 Give me DICK👁👅👁
But poor😥Mr. Turkey🦃 could not🙅🏻‍♂️give his seed🌾💦 For it was “No🙈🥜nut🥜🙈November🍁” To get cumpkin🎃pie🤤 They’d👉have to wait😳 till🍆Dickcember❄️☃️❄️
Mr. Turkey🦃please😖 All the little👧hoes cried😫 If you can’t👎give your seed🌾💦
And🧘‍♀️gobble🦃my ass🍑👅😈”
Send📬this to 🔟 hoes💁‍♀️by 🍂Spanksgiving’s🍁 end And the🥩getting eaten👄🍴 Might🧘‍♀️be your rear🍑👅end🤩

[privateeyeforhire]

Well that's impressive. Didn't even know they made that many emojis.

[treading_water]

me neither. i like em though

[privateeyeforhire]

Seriously? Didn't peg you for an emoji guy. Or a text message guy even.

[treading_water]

i like the pictures.

I'll send a carrier pigeon next time

[privateeyeforhire]

You're just full of surprises.

AndI don't mind the texts, but sure. If that works better for you.



Quick question first: what's a pigeon?

[treading_water]

you have no idea.

what. its a fucking bird, dipshit.

[privateeyeforhire]

And how the hell am I supposed to know that?? What kind of bird carries anything?

[treading_water]

the kind you train to deliver messages???

[privateeyeforhire]

You're saying it won't just drop it????

[treading_water]

what. no, you tie it to it's little leggy

[privateeyeforhire]

How small is this note supposed to be that it fits on its leg?

wait

You're joking, right? This is a bit

[treading_water]

why would i lie

on this

our first dicksgiving

the way I just cackled

[privateeyeforhire]

Maybe making up weird bird facts is your dicksgiving tradition. I don't know your life.

i could hear it from here

[treading_water]

I'm not really a bird guy.

not really a spanksgiving guy either. just trying to get that 🥩 eaten or whatever

you and my neighbors probably

[privateeyeforhire]

Careful there. Almost sounds like you're inviting me over to eat with that kind of emoji game

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[treading_water]

happy accident, i guess.

i mean.

if you're offering...

[privateeyeforhire]

My dance card is free for the foreseeable future. Send me a time and place.

Just don't do it by bird.

[treading_water]

the fuck does that mean.

im talking about eating dick and ass not dancing.

[privateeyeforhire]

You mean we weren't talking about doing a waltz? Shit

Seriously though, it's an old earth saying. Basically means you're not busy. I can explain the whole thing either before or after I'm done eating dick and/or ass

[treading_water]

in my part of earth we just said suck my dick and got it over with.

doesn't matter. come by the ship whenever you're feeling parched.

[privateeyeforhire]

Sounds like a part of earth I'd actually want to visit.

And sure, soon as I figure out where that is. Could find that apartment in my sleep though.

[treading_water]

that apartment wasn't even mine.

marilla, filia pier. it's the big one with my flag💀↘️❤💦

[privateeyeforhire]

And you still killed me for breaking and entering? Now I'm taking it personally.

Doesn't sound too hard to find. See you sooner than later, captain.

[treading_water]

it was my husband's. the one you haven't met.

probably wise not to play break-in on the ship, unless you get off on getting killed.

[privateeyeforhire]

There's plenty that does get me off, but that's not one of them. Fun as it was the first time. If you and the hubbies have any other property I should avoid then, maybe send me a list.

[treading_water]

nah.

more fun if i dont 🔪

[privateeyeforhire]

Guess I'll just have to stay on my toes then. And maybe start carrying knives.

🔪🔪🔪

un: GentlemanPirate

[finethings]

Hello there!
Would this happen to be Juno Steel?

[privateeyeforhire]

That depends. If you're trying to sell me something or if I owe you money then nope. Wrong number.

[finethings]

Oh! Goodness, no!
This is Stede. Stede Bonnet.
I believe I turned you into a vampire a few months back?

[privateeyeforhire]

You've got the right number then. Pretty hard to forget a night like that one.