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[privateeyeforhire]

 

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"Hey, Juno Steel here. Assuming answering machines work the same around here: you leave me a message, I call you back. Probably. Depends on why you're calling."

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[privateeyeforhire]

Me being paranoid means I’m not going to be the first one to find out they’re actually carnivores. Or whatever it’s called when you eat everything. One of those.

[ He drags a hand down over his face, trying his best not to sound amused. Because he’s not. He’s a very mature lady after all. ]

Well now I have a great mental image of what’s going on over there right now. Thanks for that.

[invigorates]

Ominvores? And do not be ridiculous, they will not-- Juno! ( it's a hissed curse of his name, her embarrassment evident even over the communicator. She set herself up for it and yet. AND YET. )

That is not what I meant.

[privateeyeforhire]

What? You started it!

[ He’s outright grinning now, having just the best time. Sorry Lior. It’s just too fun. ]

So… you’re saying that’s not what’s happening? That’s good, because I got really well acquainted with the ground in the forest that first night and I can’t imagine that’d be comfortable.

[invigorates]

I did not! ( she huffed. Rude! )

I hope you are not asking me for details, Juno. ( because she will die. )

[privateeyeforhire]

Not unless the details are really interesting. [ Weird, interesting, same diff. ] Then I guess you can keep them to yourself.

[invigorates]

I will pray things do not get any more interesting than they already are.

( there's a pause and whatever sounds Felix and Rosie are making in the background can be heard in the interim. Lioriley doesn't even know what to say at this point honestly. Then, muttered: ) Are they ever going to finish...

[privateeyeforhire]

Put me on speaker and I'll tell them to hurry it up already.

[ That isn't an idle suggestion either. He'll do it. ]

[invigorates]

Juno that is incredibly rude. ( but also super tempting. Alas. She technically was the one intruding on them, even if she was certain she had good reason to stay and wait them out.

A sharp cry of pleasure rang out behind her, followed by a muffled squeak from Lioriley herself. ) Perhaps they heard me. Hopefully that means I will return to town soon. Are you still at the tavern?

[privateeyeforhire]

Being rude gets results. You should try it sometime.

[ He'd kind of love to see that actually, improbable as he knows it is. ]

Yeah, still hanging around the tavern. Not sure where else to go. If those two finish before sunset, you'll probably find me here drinking whatever the hell this watery stuff is.

[invigorates]

No thank you.

( GOOD LUCK. )

Difficult to discern sunsets in these dense woods, truthfully. I pray that it is soon, however. ( Sighs. ) Ale. And I can head there once we are returned. I...suppose I should let you get back to it, then.

IT'S SO GREAT THAT DW NEVER TOLD ME THIS WAS HERE /s

[privateeyeforhire]

You saying that because you want to hang up, or because you think I want to?

[ Because he's fine to leave her alone if that's what she wants, but he's not about to be rushed off the phone if she feels like she's inconveniencing him. ]

top ten anime betrayals

[invigorates]

( A beat. )

I... had assumed you might have had enough of the background noise. I do not want to hang up.

loool

[privateeyeforhire]

[ Yeah, he figured that was the case. Her answer is met with an exasperated fondness, along with a curl of his lip that's almost a smile. ]

Can't say it's my favorite soundtrack for a conversation, but I don't want to hang up either for the record.

[invigorates]

( You're not supposed to know her so well already, dammit. )

You are not alone in that. And, good. I just...need to think of what to speak of now, I suppose. ( she didn't think it would last this long. )

we can keep writing their banter or just fade to black whenever! I'm good for either \o/

[privateeyeforhire]

[ Can't help it Lior, sorry. It's the detective in him, always taking notes. ]

We could start a list of things you could do in the woods that'd be better than what they're up to. Here, I'll start: literally anything.

if we find a good place to ftb i will take it i say uselessly

[invigorates]

( You'll never get all her secrets out of her, Juno! Never!

She giggled, trying to muffle the sound into her palm even if there was really no point in it. No one else around here was being quiet. )

I would not recommend doing so here, but camping is quite an enjoyable activity that could be done in the woods.

LOL same tho

[privateeyeforhire]

You mean sleeping out there on purpose? Yeah, no thanks.

[ If he had to in a pinch? Sure. Just doesn't sound like a fun recreational activity if you ask him. ]

Even without the sticks and the bugs and all that, it's too damn quiet to sleep out there.

[invigorates]

( she certainly understood that sentiment. Being left to sleep in silence was always terrible if you had a mind that liked to race and mildly torture you with past mistakes. )

You have never been in a rowdy adventuring party in the woods of Valsheria. Scarcely a moment of silence in those moments. Although they were also quite dangerous, so perhaps you have a point...( she had fun though! Most of the time. )

I'm assuming I'm remembering right that she went from adventuring to politics............

[privateeyeforhire]

Can't say I have. No woods or adventuring parties where I'm from.

[ Not unless you count unwilling jaunts out into the Martian desert after a city that doesn't exist. ]

How was that? Must have been a big change, going from that to advising a king.

Correct she makes poor life choices

[invigorates]

Not as drastic as you may assume. I earned the position while aiding the Garsalian nobles during some of their internal conflicts, one of which only ended a few months prior to my arrival here. Adventuring across the wilds was different only in what I was fighting against and who I was trying to aid.

( said out loud that sounded a lot more depressing than she ever thought it might. ) I did wish to record and witness history, after all. ( and now she was smack dab in the middle of it. )

I would suggest we try camping together, but given the unknown nature of the forest here...perhaps not.

[privateeyeforhire]

At least the palace job sounds a lot more cushy. [ Assuming castles look like he’d expect on her side of the multiverse. Juno has never seen one in person to say if they even look like that where he’s from, at least outside of a stream or movie. ]

And yeah, I’ll pass on that. There’s plenty of other things we can do together.

[ That musing unfortunately overlaps with another particularly loud sound of pleasure from Lior’s end of the line, and Juno almost chokes on his ale. Sounds a lot different than he’d intended in that context. ]

[invigorates]

A bit less dangerous, at the very least. ( The castle was large and her duties assured she did not see many people during the day. And with the war ended things were not nearly as chaotic. If anything, it was kind of...lonely. Not that she would tell Juno that, because what was the point?

She was about to respond - and honestly? She hadn't even noticed that sound specifically because she was focusing on Juno -, stopping only when she heard him half-choke. ) Are you all right? Did something happen?

[privateeyeforhire]

N-no, nothing, everything is—

[ Juno coughs to clear his throat, knocking a fist against his chest a few times. ]

—fine. Wrong pipe is all.

[ He's definitely not explaining it to her. Nope. Not going to happen. Time for a topic change, and fast. ]

Do you miss it at all? Your old job, the adventuring part?

[invigorates]

( reassuring... )

Oh. Well, I never truly stopped recording history and my other scholarly pursuits, so I cannot really miss that. Adventuring, however... sometimes, yes. I do not miss fearing for my life from unknown dangers, but I did enjoy seeing new lands and meeting new people.

I am sure I will get the chance to do so again.

[privateeyeforhire]

Yeah. You will, once we're out of here.

[ Whenever that is. Juno isn't going to give up hope that they can somehow figure their way out of this mess, one way or another. ]

At least there's plenty of new people around here.

[invigorates]

( a pause. The sounds of lovemaking still ever present in the distance, but she seemed too lost in thought to notice at this point. )

Would you think me mad for saying I would not mind staying here for a while yet? That is I - minus a few obvious aspects, it is almost...peaceful. Much more than I am used to, and the people here, like you, Juno, are wonderful. And if I was never able to see you all again...

( oh, that got kind of sad, didn't it? ) Maybe I am mad.

[privateeyeforhire]

A little, yeah.

[ But he gets it. When he thinks of going home and never seeing Lior again, something in his chest does ache in a way that is all too familiar by now. ]

... But I guess then that makes me a little 'mad' too.

[invigorates]

( she chuckled softly. )

At least I know I am in good company, in that case.

ah - ( there's a very distinct silence. ) Our friends may be finished.

[privateeyeforhire]

[ Good company. Yeah, that about sums it up. ]

Finally. Thought I'd have to bring you out a tent for after the sun went down.

[invigorates]

At that point it would be more beneficial to simply leave and come back to fetch them...

( She does sound vaguely amused at the offer though. ) I should be going so I can navigate them through without issue. Thank you again for keeping me company, Juno. I will see you soon?

\o/ shall we wrap this one up too?

[privateeyeforhire]

Sure, I'll be around. Good luck with getting them out of there.

[ He'll hang out in the inn in the meantime, making a nuisance of himself. And also maybe wait to make sure she gets back safe. Just in case. ]

ye ye

[invigorates]

Thank you, my friend.

( And off she goes to help two horny dipshits through the woods. )