privateeyeforhire | Erku Inbox

"Hey, Juno Steel here. Assuming answering machines work the same around here: you leave me a message, I call you back. Probably. Depends on why you're calling."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

invigorates

Juno? ( Okay. She doesn't sound frantic so much as she sounds flustered and uncertain; her voice low and barely above a whisper. ) I - Um. Can you just...speak with me for a few moments?

From:

privateeyeforhire

[ Whatever Juno had been doing when he answered this call, he basically forgets about it the second he hears Lior’s tone. He sits up a little straighter, like he’s about to stand--not that he knows where she even is or how to find her. ]

Sure, but what's wrong? Did something happen?

From:

invigorates

Nothing is wrong! ( at least in the sense that no one was in danger or anything.

If Juno listened close he could probably hear some odd sounds in the distance; the shifting of fabric and rustling of leaves and...moaning? Probably. )

I - Well. I had ventured into the woods to help others that might have been lost and I happened across, um. Let us just say I found a couple in a very compromising position and I believe they will need help leaving but I do not want to...watch. So. I was hoping you could talk to me until they are finished?

...Please?

From:

privateeyeforhire

[ The sounds have Juno frowning before she tells him the situation, if only because he feels like he should know what they are already. It doesn’t click until she’s explained. Compromising position. Then he knows exactly what it is he's hearing in the background of this call, and he kind of wishes he didn't. ]

You... Lior, you found somebody having sex in the woods and you’re just...

[ He doesn’t even finish that line of thought, sighing and almost-laughing to himself at the same time. What else can you do? ]

You don’t have to say please, I’m on here long as you need me. But have I told you yet today that you’re too damn nice?

From:

invigorates

They made it sound as if they did not know how to leave, Juno. And I cannot just wander off and pray they figure it out themselves...

( plus she knew one of them, so she felt extra bad about just walking off and hoping for the best. besides! Maybe they had been affected by something in the woods? She's grasping. )

Um...not today, no? ( she chuckled nervously. ) At any rate - have you found anything interesting in town?

From:

privateeyeforhire

You could just give them a compass and call it a day. They can put the brakes on for that long can’t they?

[ Or maybe they can’t, who knows? Having sex in the woods of all places sounds like a nightmare to him (On the leaves? Aren’t there sticks down on the ground? Bugs?), but far be it from him to judge people’s decisions. ]

Sure that’s the last thing you want to talk about right now though, so—sure. Found a lot that’s interesting around here, if you think dirt and horses are fun.

From:

invigorates

I... highly doubt it would be so easy. They know I am here and did not stop.

( Even worse. They're up against a tree and Lioriley can't help but think about how painful bark must feel on one's back.

At least his comment made her laugh. That was something right?)

Well that is certainly something. Have you ever ridden a horse before?

From:

privateeyeforhire

Not yet, and I’m not looking into it either. Made eye-contact with one of them on the street earlier today and I can’t tell you what that thing was thinking when it looked back at me, but it wasn’t anything good. I’m not convinced they don’t actually eat meat.

[ Barely has he finished that sentence when he hears something else in the background on Lior’s end. Something decidedly X-rated that has him using every bit of willpower to not bring it up. Be strong, Steel. For Lior’s sake. ]

From:

invigorates

Juno, are you certain you are not being a bit -- ( a beat, then a soft noise if distress from Lioriley before she continued that thought. Were they getting louder? God this sucked. ) -- paranoid? I have never known a horse to eat meat.

They can be quite fun to ride - oh. Perhaps that was a poor choice of words.

From:

privateeyeforhire

Me being paranoid means I’m not going to be the first one to find out they’re actually carnivores. Or whatever it’s called when you eat everything. One of those.

[ He drags a hand down over his face, trying his best not to sound amused. Because he’s not. He’s a very mature lady after all. ]

Well now I have a great mental image of what’s going on over there right now. Thanks for that.

From:

invigorates

Ominvores? And do not be ridiculous, they will not-- Juno! ( it's a hissed curse of his name, her embarrassment evident even over the communicator. She set herself up for it and yet. AND YET. )

That is not what I meant.

From:

privateeyeforhire

What? You started it!

[ He’s outright grinning now, having just the best time. Sorry Lior. It’s just too fun. ]

So… you’re saying that’s not what’s happening? That’s good, because I got really well acquainted with the ground in the forest that first night and I can’t imagine that’d be comfortable.

From:

invigorates

I did not! ( she huffed. Rude! )

I hope you are not asking me for details, Juno. ( because she will die. )

From:

privateeyeforhire

Not unless the details are really interesting. [ Weird, interesting, same diff. ] Then I guess you can keep them to yourself.

From:

invigorates

I will pray things do not get any more interesting than they already are.

( there's a pause and whatever sounds Felix and Rosie are making in the background can be heard in the interim. Lioriley doesn't even know what to say at this point honestly. Then, muttered: ) Are they ever going to finish...

From:

privateeyeforhire

Put me on speaker and I'll tell them to hurry it up already.

[ That isn't an idle suggestion either. He'll do it. ]

From:

invigorates

Juno that is incredibly rude. ( but also super tempting. Alas. She technically was the one intruding on them, even if she was certain she had good reason to stay and wait them out.

A sharp cry of pleasure rang out behind her, followed by a muffled squeak from Lioriley herself. ) Perhaps they heard me. Hopefully that means I will return to town soon. Are you still at the tavern?

From:

privateeyeforhire

Being rude gets results. You should try it sometime.

[ He'd kind of love to see that actually, improbable as he knows it is. ]

Yeah, still hanging around the tavern. Not sure where else to go. If those two finish before sunset, you'll probably find me here drinking whatever the hell this watery stuff is.

From:

invigorates

No thank you.

( GOOD LUCK. )

Difficult to discern sunsets in these dense woods, truthfully. I pray that it is soon, however. ( Sighs. ) Ale. And I can head there once we are returned. I...suppose I should let you get back to it, then.

From:

privateeyeforhire

You saying that because you want to hang up, or because you think I want to?

[ Because he's fine to leave her alone if that's what she wants, but he's not about to be rushed off the phone if she feels like she's inconveniencing him. ]

From:

invigorates

( A beat. )

I... had assumed you might have had enough of the background noise. I do not want to hang up.

From:

privateeyeforhire

[ Yeah, he figured that was the case. Her answer is met with an exasperated fondness, along with a curl of his lip that's almost a smile. ]

Can't say it's my favorite soundtrack for a conversation, but I don't want to hang up either for the record.

From:

invigorates

( You're not supposed to know her so well already, dammit. )

You are not alone in that. And, good. I just...need to think of what to speak of now, I suppose. ( she didn't think it would last this long. )

From:

privateeyeforhire

[ Can't help it Lior, sorry. It's the detective in him, always taking notes. ]

We could start a list of things you could do in the woods that'd be better than what they're up to. Here, I'll start: literally anything.

From:

invigorates

( You'll never get all her secrets out of her, Juno! Never!

She giggled, trying to muffle the sound into her palm even if there was really no point in it. No one else around here was being quiet. )

I would not recommend doing so here, but camping is quite an enjoyable activity that could be done in the woods.

From:

privateeyeforhire

You mean sleeping out there on purpose? Yeah, no thanks.

[ If he had to in a pinch? Sure. Just doesn't sound like a fun recreational activity if you ask him. ]

Even without the sticks and the bugs and all that, it's too damn quiet to sleep out there.

From:

invigorates

( she certainly understood that sentiment. Being left to sleep in silence was always terrible if you had a mind that liked to race and mildly torture you with past mistakes. )

You have never been in a rowdy adventuring party in the woods of Valsheria. Scarcely a moment of silence in those moments. Although they were also quite dangerous, so perhaps you have a point...( she had fun though! Most of the time. )

From:

privateeyeforhire

Can't say I have. No woods or adventuring parties where I'm from.

[ Not unless you count unwilling jaunts out into the Martian desert after a city that doesn't exist. ]

How was that? Must have been a big change, going from that to advising a king.

From:

invigorates

Not as drastic as you may assume. I earned the position while aiding the Garsalian nobles during some of their internal conflicts, one of which only ended a few months prior to my arrival here. Adventuring across the wilds was different only in what I was fighting against and who I was trying to aid.

( said out loud that sounded a lot more depressing than she ever thought it might. ) I did wish to record and witness history, after all. ( and now she was smack dab in the middle of it. )

I would suggest we try camping together, but given the unknown nature of the forest here...perhaps not.

Edited Date: 2021-11-07 08:23 pm (UTC)

From:

privateeyeforhire

At least the palace job sounds a lot more cushy. [ Assuming castles look like he’d expect on her side of the multiverse. Juno has never seen one in person to say if they even look like that where he’s from, at least outside of a stream or movie. ]

And yeah, I’ll pass on that. There’s plenty of other things we can do together.

[ That musing unfortunately overlaps with another particularly loud sound of pleasure from Lior’s end of the line, and Juno almost chokes on his ale. Sounds a lot different than he’d intended in that context. ]

From:

invigorates

A bit less dangerous, at the very least. ( The castle was large and her duties assured she did not see many people during the day. And with the war ended things were not nearly as chaotic. If anything, it was kind of...lonely. Not that she would tell Juno that, because what was the point?

She was about to respond - and honestly? She hadn't even noticed that sound specifically because she was focusing on Juno -, stopping only when she heard him half-choke. ) Are you all right? Did something happen?

From:

privateeyeforhire

N-no, nothing, everything is—

[ Juno coughs to clear his throat, knocking a fist against his chest a few times. ]

—fine. Wrong pipe is all.

[ He's definitely not explaining it to her. Nope. Not going to happen. Time for a topic change, and fast. ]

Do you miss it at all? Your old job, the adventuring part?

From:

invigorates

( reassuring... )

Oh. Well, I never truly stopped recording history and my other scholarly pursuits, so I cannot really miss that. Adventuring, however... sometimes, yes. I do not miss fearing for my life from unknown dangers, but I did enjoy seeing new lands and meeting new people.

I am sure I will get the chance to do so again.

From:

privateeyeforhire

Yeah. You will, once we're out of here.

[ Whenever that is. Juno isn't going to give up hope that they can somehow figure their way out of this mess, one way or another. ]

At least there's plenty of new people around here.

From:

invigorates

( a pause. The sounds of lovemaking still ever present in the distance, but she seemed too lost in thought to notice at this point. )

Would you think me mad for saying I would not mind staying here for a while yet? That is I - minus a few obvious aspects, it is almost...peaceful. Much more than I am used to, and the people here, like you, Juno, are wonderful. And if I was never able to see you all again...

( oh, that got kind of sad, didn't it? ) Maybe I am mad.

From:

privateeyeforhire

A little, yeah.

[ But he gets it. When he thinks of going home and never seeing Lior again, something in his chest does ache in a way that is all too familiar by now. ]

... But I guess then that makes me a little 'mad' too.

From:

invigorates

( she chuckled softly. )

At least I know I am in good company, in that case.

ah - ( there's a very distinct silence. ) Our friends may be finished.

From:

privateeyeforhire

[ Good company. Yeah, that about sums it up. ]

Finally. Thought I'd have to bring you out a tent for after the sun went down.

From:

invigorates

At that point it would be more beneficial to simply leave and come back to fetch them...

( She does sound vaguely amused at the offer though. ) I should be going so I can navigate them through without issue. Thank you again for keeping me company, Juno. I will see you soon?

From:

privateeyeforhire

Sure, I'll be around. Good luck with getting them out of there.

[ He'll hang out in the inn in the meantime, making a nuisance of himself. And also maybe wait to make sure she gets back safe. Just in case. ]